I've kept this down for really long.. I trusted believed that treating all of you true was always right. Though so many stuff you al once did to disappoint me again and again, I forgive, try to forget, I put us in first place.

First, you betrayed me cheated on me got on bed with someone you clearly knew that I loved so much and was attached to me. Yes you admitted told me you know youre wrong dont want to lose me as a friend.. but you lied about who tricked who up to _|_. I still believed you in the first place and thought everyone else was spouting nonsense. But nvm that passed i forget youve changed i know. Now you get big in the belly and told me about it, Keep this in mind, I tried to help you, I had the heart to find the pills for you, constantly remind you about this issue about how serious it is not possible to keep dragging. I may have been harsh with words but........ why seriously. dont you see. you leave me there to deal with those hurtful words your friends combo me with.. haha... fucking ironic.

You.. Bitched about me when we frist shared our secrets to each other. I kept all your secrets, you spilled mine to all the others.. yes maybe we(you) were young and naive so gossip spread rumours about people that treated you like a best friend. Got angry over me bcos your crush played with me, (not me playing with him) HA i swallowed all these down umpteen times. I flared up before. I forget forgive. Overtime yes you change, i trust that you dont bitch anymore. I side you whenever people try to gossip, its your character, your attitude, you are born like that. nothing to blame about. yes you are rough with words to s and c sometimes, they complain, i tell them to understand. another thing, friends help each other, they dont throw them aside when they go astray. reason why i still bother to be kpo and talk to c when i know she wont appreciate. so now i play around, really feel sad inside actually but none of you see why and care about me. hahahha FUCK!

bai told me you were two headed. I never choosed to believe. I always quarrelled scold the fuck out of him whenever he told me that all three of you cannot be trusted. i speak up for all of you.. but when i heard the thing about jesmine. i became the 2 headed shit? ??? woah...... i dont know who's mouth to trust now.

come on fuck i am so very disappointed.... so down and out that not even one of you know what it means to be friends.

When I feel emotionalll, the best thing that ever comes across my mind will be getting wasted at the club. Dance drink drink drink get high and maybe hook up some guys. Yes cmon I bet thats exactly all of us feel, or maybe MOST of us...

Who cares about guys boyfriends blablabla, they're just bunch of bastards that will get rid of us so why not we girls do the dumping first? Bing Bang Boom lets just admit it.......... Its aches for us girls to do the dumping, yea maybe not all but thats for me. But seriously I don't have the rights to even say it 'aches' BCOSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHHA

Can't wait to start school Can't wait to start school Can't wait to start schoolCan't wait to start schoolCan't wait to start schoolCan't wait to start schoolCan't wait to start school I need something to keep me occupied before I turn 18 yesyesyesyesyes

Why isn't it easy to forget.. I don't like looking back and feeling hurt....

Sometimes its weird how I just feel like giving up and moving on again. But its just hard when i start to think back about how hard i fought to achieve what I have right now. I thought I'll be overwhelmed with happiness, filled with activities everyday and full of life with you, Yea, of course I was wrong. Things never turn out the way that I imagine them to be. So maybe holding on to this and waiting for the 'time' to come will work. Well I dont know but my instincts keep telling me that we'll definately end up nowhere. You used to be what I always thought of when I was feeling really down and out. Yes, I was excited/nervous/happy with butterflies in my stomach when we started to talk. I gave up whom I thought will always be a living nightmare. And just.. thought that life will become 10x better.

Actually yes indeed, life is much better.. I have my freedom, I got places to go.. haha, cant think of anything else manz.. So where exactly are we leading to? I dont know.. Guess I just have to be patient like I always will be and wait for something to happen? Life really sucks sometimes..

Another issue that I'm concerned about will be girls around me. None of them seem the same anymore.. Or maybe its just because I've failed recently to give in and take everything as a joke, like how i always can in the past. Friends.. Sometimes I cant wait to go into a new school and find more/ ...better... people.

Having just ended a long term r/s, what would a girl need the most? Single friends by her side that don't always brag about how well their boyf is. Yes, I know its rather stupid that i'm affected by all these nonsense. But cmon, I cant control emotions. This is what I really am feeling. I hate have to be lightbulb with my 2 bestfriends and their bf around. It seriously sucks. Makes me think back about how we were then.. Happy times only.. But when all the negative thoughts start to flood into my mind.. I wipe off whatever shit I was thinking about immediately. This happens again and again, AH! They will never understand though..

Dancing in a club shaking everything of.. How bout havoc way of living and just ignoring everything thats happening.. But it dosent always work all the time though this solution's kinda useful.. I just never seem to be able to pour out my sorrows to someone. Everyone seem as though they cant be trusted at all.. Not suitable.. So here I am facing the computer 'talking to myself' Common sense, I'm the only one that knows myself best! hahah

I wish.. though i always mention that wishes never come true.. that i'll be able to find someone perfect to tell all these to.,. Not always the one listening..

Being home/ alone always felt like a torture. Why? WHYWHYWHY Maybe its bcos of the lack of things to keep me occupied. I'll never fail to sink into this deep thinking that my life sucks. nothing is going well. I have no friends that are nice. Thoughts like these keep going through my mind and my heart will keep getting heavier and heavier and slowly feel as if its sinking..

I haven't blogged for so long that I nearly forgetten my password. Another reason being, my life was fucked up and plain boring! Hahaha, actually I've been spending all these time getting ready for the O's! And I'm going crazyyyyyyyy

This sucks, I dont even know what to type now AHHHHHH!!

Coming back to sg tmr.
Kinda fetup with something/ someone, but why bother? Been like that since the start till now. Haha
Make do with it and start over with something else. AHAHAHAHA

Very boreeeeddddd.. Feels like I'm starting to lose the motivation to study alreadyyyyyyyyy..........
I don't want to studyyyyy....

Haven't been using the computer for quite a while, which also means that my blog is so DEEAAADD. Chinese New Year clashes with Valentines day this year, how nice.... Hahaha, I just realised i spent the last two year's valentine with the same guy by coincidence,  but not this year though. Hahah

But sadly, I'll be in Malaysia for nearly the whole of Chinese New Year ): Gona be damnnnnnnnnnnnn boring..

Anyway, Xin Nian Kuai Le and Happy Valentines !~

Yea, its the start of a new year and I'm blogging only now. After so long, its finally the weekends and I'm still home at this time. Waiting for Yen to reach home before calling that pig and decide where to go. Wonder how 2010 would turn out to be. Got no idea what to blog about sia..

Oh ya! I managed to go for Wavehouse and it was fcuking fun x9999999999999!! Although most people complained that it wasn't that fun. Hahaha, got no words to describe how much I enjoyed that night. Partied so much till my back and legs started to ache like mad after the event. Looking forward to upcoming ones! Haha, it'll be wonderful if the next one is on March which means... Hahah, I'll be officially legal for underage parties!~

I'm afraid GP will extend, I really hope it won't though. I've looked forward to finish this for so long already, not nice to know that I might have to wait even LONGER. I'm wondering if I'll be able to attend Wavehouse  later.. Haha, wish mum and dad is in a favourable mood tmr. Hahaha, got so much on my mind and things i want to do. But I just can't, sianzzzz Hate this feeling of not knowing what to do and awaiting for maybe... not good stuffs to come?

Haha, sometimes i feel this dead blog is so boring and all. No pictures and full of nonsense. Wonder who reads..

GP's groupwork finally over! 3 more months can bide goodbye already :D Haha, but Woo mentioned about extending to my Dad, hope it's not real though.. Haha, Boss stopped contacting me, so I guess I'm not working anymore. lols. So.. Hav to buy school books.. School's reopening in... 2 weeks! ): Sianzzz

But before that, gona partaeeeeee at Wavehouse!~~ I guess?